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Looking After Your Mental Health When Christmas Comes to Town

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Author: Olly Halton


In just a few short nights, children will be stomping downstairs to discover what Santa has left for them in their stockings. Plates will be piled high with potatoes and poultry and all the trimmings. The advent calendar will lie empty with all its doors open, the lights on the tree will sparkle bright, and you’ll feel the tickle of garlands wrapped around your bannisters. Your hard work picking and wrapping presents will have paid off when you see the smiles illuminate their faces. You’ll open the door wide to give Grandma a hug and a cherry. You’ll pin up a bit of mistletoe in your doorway waiting for that special someone. Or perhaps you won’t.


For some, Christmas can be more blue than red and gold. It can remind you of all the things and people you’ve lost, the hard year you’ve had. The music of "Feliz Navidad" and Yuletide carols may feel out of place and you may ask, why is there joy when all I feel is sorrow? Watching people parade in Santa hats or call out Merry Christmas can make your heart burst, your blood boil, or your eyes well with tears. These are all perfectly natural reactions. Christmas can be a celebration of bringing loved ones close for another winter. But it can also be something you wish to avoid, or hope will pass quickly, to forget that it’s not the best Christmas ever that you had promised yourself.


If you’re going through hardship, know you’re not alone. Loss is universal, everyone will have a hard Christmas at some point in their lives, feigning a smile so as not to disappoint their children or they might find themselves wishing the day, month, or even the year into the next.


I myself have had quite a similar experience this 2024 as we lost my dad in August. One day I might explain my feelings and commit pen to paper about that. But for now, I reflect on what Christmas is and how it will change. My partner and I will still put up a tree every year and we’ll hold my mother close and ensure she always has a place at the table at “the most wonderful time of the year,” even though it won’t feel quite as wonderful anymore. I’ll miss how my dad would cook the roast, sitting with us while peeling carrots over morning tea. I’ll miss sharing a Baileys with him and giving him presents he’d love.


But I know he’d want me to be happy at Christmas, holding his values close and continuing his traditions. He’d want my children to know their Grandfather so he can live on through them as they rifle through gifts their Grandparents would have bought them had fate been kinder. For him, I will have a good Christmas and a Happy New Year. I am determined. For my father. Whatever you plan for December 25th, take time for yourself. Don’t feel pressured into anything and take a moment to talk, as it really helps. If you can’t talk to someone you know, seek out qualified professionals like those at the Lighthouse Psychotherapy Practice. 

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